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7 Things To Do If You Ever Find Yourself Homeless

Oli Scarff, Getty Images

Today’s world is a tough one. The economy is in such shambles that even white collar workers are scrounging for cash. The days of things costing a nickel and America being the king of all kings are far over and unfortunately, society is in the middle of feeling the harsh after affects of a troubled economy: We’re living in smaller houses, we’re losing our jobs … occasionally worse things are happening. Most have had make drastic lifestyle changes; the times of incessant praise and financial welcoming are over. Allow us to introduce you to the land of the homeless.

Hey, it’s okay. So you’re a derelict, big deal! There are so many fantastic things about having no savings, no home, no income, no family, no friends, no clothes, no shower, no toilet, no hairbrush and no … like! But we won’t bore you with them. Instead, let’s check out what you can do should you ever find yourself homeless! Perk up, hobos!

Head to a Nice City

NYC
Theo Wargo, Getty Images

 

If you’re going to be homeless, you might as well have some nice surroundings to perk up your day. Yes, the constant sight of those who are higher-than-thou on the monetary scale will blow immensely, but it’s better than the alternative: Hanging out in dilapidated areas with others who have it just as bad is infinitely more depressing. So here you come New York or Beverly Hills!

Sleep on a Subway Grate

Subway Grate
ThisIsMorgs

Warmth is key, you vagrants. One must keep warm during tough times. Seriously, you’re homeless. On the east coast, this step is that much more crucial given changes in weather. Perhaps New York might be the place to go. The subway grates offer a fantastic amount of warmth. It’s fetid warmth, but still warmth.

Grow a Beard

Brad Pitt Homeless Beard
InstinctMag

 

It’s a time to let loose. You’re homeless. Enjoy it! Don’t shave; actually you can’t, so the beard is really not an option. On the bright side, that facial hair you wanted in your late teens/early 20s – before life kicked your ass – can now appear. So that’s… good?

Go To a Cheap Town

Warwick, NY
Wiki

 

In contrast to our first suggestion, let’s look at the positives of relocating to a cheap part of the country. These sections are exactly as mentioned … cheap. It’s usually much easier to make a living in smaller towns because the cost of living is far more inexpensive when compared to a big city. So if you’re heading into town and find yourself homeless, get a job – any job. It doesn’t matter where, but as long as you are making a tiny wage you should be on your way back up the ladder!

Work On Your Bucket List

Pen / Paper
Tanvii.com

 

You really don’t have anything else to do, right? So you might as well start working on figuring out what you want to do before you die… which could be any day, sad to say.

Become a Nicer Person

Clown
Matt Cardy, Getty Images

 

No one wants to dole out money to a crazy, surly homeless dude. Have you ever been walking the streets only to see someone who looks both uninviting and also a bit deranged? Well, don’t be that guy. Be the homeless person who just looks down in the dumps, yet hopeful, if that’s possible.

Become a Performer

Street Performer
Martin McNeil, Getty Images

 

Now’s your chance to become the dancer, singer or guitar player you always wanted to be when you were a kid. Regrettably, you never got around to it because your father adamantly explained that such tomfoolery would be your minor in college. But not anymore, Dad! I’m homeless – I can do whatever I want! Ha! Look who has the last laugh … oh wait.

But still, people react to street performers if they’re at all adequate at what they are doing. Busking, dancing and/or singing could allow you to tap into your hidden creative side. Actually, Penn Jillette started off juggling on the street and look at that guy now Being homeless doesn’t have to suck. You’re the next Penn … just have to find your Teller. Don’t worry hobos; he’s out there. He’s out there.

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