Congratulations Brian Williams!
Brian Williams has reached the pinnacle of his broadcasting career.
He makes $10 million a year; he's one of the most trusted men in America (like you, Donald Trump; not Walter Cronkite); and he heads the news department of a one-time major American television juggernaut.
BUT that's not why he has reached the top of the career mountain.
Oh no. Not even close.
Why is Williams being congratulated? Why is he at the top of his game now?
Yes. Yes he did.
The reason he is getting the hearty slap on the back and a big round of attaboys is because a minor league baseball team in Ohio is having a night in his honor, Yahoo Sports reported.
Among the events scheduled, according to Yahoo Sports:
- A fan named Brian Williams will be on hand to read embellished stories.
- A pair of Brian Williams' pants will be burned during a "liar, liar, pants on fire" ceremony. We're guessing those will be the fan's pants, not the anchor's pants, since it's unlikely he'd be interested in participating.
- Also, there will be a between-innings chance for fans to audition to be NBC's next news anchor on the video board. The winning video, as determined by the fans in attendance, will be sent to NBC for consideration. Though it's more likely that too will be burned."
There will also be on-field contests, including "To Tell the Truth" and "Two Truths & a Brian Williams," also known as "Two Truths and a Lie," according to the Rubber Ducks.
Well, well, well. Pants on Fire Night in Akron. That seems all too perfect to me.
It sure looks like Williams planned this all out, kind of like Barney from "How I Met Your Mother" and his complicated five-year scheme.
Oh, it's all too perfect!
Brian Williams, you sly dog you.