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This Crime Report Is Way More Entertaining Than You’d Expect

You’ve heard the old adage that crime doesn’t pay. That’s something this police officer wants one thief in particular to remember.

Lieutenant Higgins here is the star of this crime report out of Louisiana’s St. Landry Parish. He’s none too pleased someone had the gall to knock over Stelly’s Supermarket earlier this month and he isn’t one to hold back his anger.

After giving a brief description of the crime, Higgins speaks glowingly of the family that runs it. He then strikes fear into the heart of everyone watching when he speaks directly to the thief, wherever he may be, by promising to find him and lock him up.

Then, for good measure, he says he’ll reward himself for a job well done afterward by going to Stelly’s and enjoying a cheeseburger, fries and a Coke.

He reminds the thief that evidence is already being collected to help track him down and the slew of people watching will make him famous.“You will be recognized,” he says. “And the people that know you don’t really like you anyways.”

We couldn’t have said it any better ourselves.

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