Warning: This story is about gas. Farts. Passing it. "Fluffies," as my mom put it when I was a kid, God rest her soul.

Wait, my mom is still alive. Thanks for the birthday card, Mom! A check from Nana!

Passing gas is very important. And it happens way more than you think it does. And I always think about Dan Jager, a kid I went to Middle school with. He was an underarm fart noise maker kid. Real popular.

"99 percent of the gas you produce does not smell
One of the reasons that we produce so much more gas than we realize is that nearly all of it is odorless.

Hydrogen, carbon dioxide, and methane make up as much as 99 percent of the gas produced in our large intestines by volume. (They're supplemented by air you swallow — more on that below.) All of these gases are odorless, which is why much of the time, farts don't actually smell at all.

The potent stink, research has found, is largely due to the 1 percent or so of compounds with sulfur in them, such as hydrogen sulfide. (This sort of research itself is pretty amazing: one experiment involved two people judging the smelliness of farts of 16 participants who'd been fed pinto beans, collected with the aid of "gas-tight Mylar pantaloons.")"

Huh. I would have guessed it was a smaller number. Read on the article for more fun facts about gas. Now you may go back to being an adult.

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