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Introducing: The Self-Serve Beer Machine!

It’s been a trend for awhile now, self-serve. Self serve gas, self serve shopping check outs, and NOW, self serve beer machines!!!

Target Field, home of the Minnesota Twins, just got a major upgrade but WITHOUT the million dollar price tag. They’ve added self-service beer kiosks, where you can purchase up to 48 ounces of alcohol EVERY 15 minutes.

Great news for people who want to get drunk with minimal human interaction.

It’s the first of its kind in Major League Baseball, and it works like this: the stadium allows fans to purchase a card for amounts of $10, $20 or $50 to use at the machine. There are four beers to choose from, and they can be bought by the ounce: Bud and Bud Light (38 cents per ounce), and Shock Top Lemon Shandy and Goose Island 312 Urban Pale Ale (40 cents per ounce).

That comes out to just over $6 for a 16 oz. beer, which is a pretty decent deal for stadium prices.

Of course, there will be attendant on hand to check IDs — and shut down the machines after the seventh inning.


What could go wrong here? Seriously, list how many ways this could fail when you add drunks to the mix. How long until fans attempt to drink directly from the tap?

And why can’t we have these at actual Targets? I might actually like shopping.



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