After paying boatloads of cash to a male masseuse on whom he may or may not have let his fingers do the walking, John Travolta apparently decided his next best move would be to promote Brazilian booze by ambiguously dancing with shirtless men. Alrighty.

Also not helping matters? His refusal to shave whatever that thing is off his face. (That's a decision worse than 'Battlefield Earth.')

"Don't, don't you touch this video, don't, don't you skip this video, zdjsnfkndglkdg!" he opens the commercial for the Ypióca brand of Brazilian cachaça (a fermented cane sugar beverage) before strutting barefoot on a beach in pajama bottoms to dance with shirtless male soccer players.

You can check out the commercial above, in which everyone yells at Travolta like it's going out of style and John Travolta may be already drunk.

Be you, John!