Jokes

If you've ever had a gorilla on your roof, you'll appreciate this joke: Gorilla in a Tree A lady calls the police and says "Please send someone over right away. I've got a gorilla on my roof." "An officer will be dispatched immediately" replies the desk sergeant...

The Old Doctor A young doctor had moved out to a small community to replace a doctor who was retiring. The older doctor suggested that the young one accompany him 
on his rounds, so the community could become used to a new doctor. At the first house a woman complains, “I've been a little sick to my 
 stomach...

A Trip to Rome A woman was at her hairdresser's getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband. She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded, "Rome? Why would anyone want to go there? It's crowded and dirty. You're crazy to go to Rome...

If you workout at the gym you may relate to this joke submitted by listener McCrae Axson. Gym Equipment A heavy set man is working out at the gym when he sees an attractive 18 year old come in and begin her workout. He asks the nearby trainer which machine should he use if he wants to impress her. Looking him up and down  real carefully the trainer finally answers

Mime & the Lion One day an out-of-work mime is visiting the zoo and attempts to earn some money as a street performer. However, as soon as he starts to draw a crowd, the zookeeper grabs him and drags him into his office. The zookeeper explains to the mime that the zoo's most popular attraction, a gorilla, has died suddenly. Th...

The New York Farmer The New York Department of Labor claimed a small farmer was not paying proper wages to his help and sent an agent out to investigate him. NY Govt agent said “I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them...

The New Pill A lady goes to the doctor and complains her husband is losing interest in sex. He gives her a pill but warns her that it's still experimental. He tells her to slip it in his mashed potatoes at dinner. At dinner that night, she does just that...

Awful Lunch An Irishman, a Mexican and a Blonde Guy were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building. They were eating lunch and the Irishman said, 'Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch, I'm going to jump off this building...

Today's joke is short but sweet.  Here Goes: Classic Psychiatrist Joke A man walks into a psychiatrist's office wearing only underwear made of Saran Wrap.

Call From a Wife Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. 
A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the 
hands-free speaker function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen "Hello?" "Honey, it's me...

The Traffic Camera My husband was driving when he saw the flash of a traffic camera. He figured that his picture had been taken for exceeding the limit even though he knew that he was not speeding. Just to be sure, he went around the block and passed the same spot, driving even more slowly, but again the camera flashed. Now he began to think that this was quite funny,

The Problem With Flowers A blonde and a brunette are walking downtown when the brunette sees her boyfriend in a flower shop. “Just great” the brunette complained to the blonde, “my boyfriend is in the flower shop buying me some flowers”. The blonde responds, “Why is that a problem?” The brunette replies,