Jokes

Tourist in Mexico A lone American tourist, vacationing in Mexico, was wandering around one afternoon and realized he had completely lost all track of time. He noticed an elderly Mexican gentleman sitting against a cathedral wall with a donkey standing next to him.

The Vengeful Ex Wife She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases. On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things. On the third day, she sat on the floor of her dining room and feasted on shrimp, caviar, and a bottle of wine...

This one's a Classic! Amish Magic Box An Amish family went to a shopping mall for the first time ever and were amazed at all the modern wonders. The mother went to get some baking supplies while the father and son wandered around and ended up in front of an elevator. They watched as the floor indicator annunciated the floor and the doors opened and closed.

The Old Cowboy A cowboy, who has moved to Wyoming from Texas , walks into a bar and orders three mugs of beer. He sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more.

Fire Truck Dog A family was driving home from school when a fire truck zoomed past with a Dalmatian dog on the front seat. "Why's that dog on the fire truck?" asked the younger son. His older brother said, "They use him to keep crowds back."

Helpful Church Goer Oly and Lena Got up one Sunday morning and were getting ready to go to church. Lena tole Oly she wasn't feeling so good and told him to go ahead and go to church by himself. Oly did, and when he got home he had two big black eyes.

The Golf Pro Three hackers head off for a fun round, and while they are paying their green fees the local pro comes up and asks if they mind if he plays along with them. They agree hoping to get a few free tips out of the pro and head up to the first tee.

The Blind Salesclerk A woman goes into a sporting goods store to buy a rod and reel for her grandson's Birthday. She doesn't know which one to get so she just grabs one and goes over to the counter.

Drunk in Church A drunk staggers into a Catholic Church, enters a confessional booth, sits down, but says nothing. The Priest coughs a few times to get his attention but the drunk continues to sit there.

The Rude Duck A puppeteer performs a show with a duck glove puppet. The duck opens its mouth: "And now I'd like to tell you a joke about cops!"

Penguin and the Mechanic A penguin is driving across the desert and his car starts making funny noises. He sees a little gas station and mechanic and pulls over to have it checked out. While the mechanic takes a look at the car, the penguin buys an ice cream bar at the gas station while he waits...

The Lawyer's Crabs A lawyer boarded an airplane in New Orleans with a box of frozen crabs and asked a blond stewardess to take care of them for him. She took the box and promised to put it in the crew's refrigerator. He advised her that he was holding her personally responsible for them staying frozen,