If You Hate Candy Corn, Read This!
Candy Corn is year in and year out Michigan's favorite Halloween treat, so why does it illicit such hate? If you hate candy corn, those of us who love it would like you to know something.
Google the words "candy corn hate" and you will get page after page of diatribes about how much people dislike the autumnal delight.
I usually can walk away from such nonsense, but as I get older, my grumpy old man gene is kicking in, and something happened the other day that finally made me snap.
Sadly, I've gotten used to people hating things on the internet, but this was different. My coach in my workout class went off about how much he hates it. That was too much. I just want to workout, and you're going off about candy corn? Really?
So let me ask you, candy corn haters, why do you have to tell everybody how much you hate candy corn? It's like the whipping boy of bad food, I get it, it's politically correct to jump on the orange, white and yellow delights.
Just so you know, I have a long list of candies I don't like, but here's what I do: I KEEP IT TO MYSELF!!!
Why? BECAUSE NO ONE WANTS TO HEAR ABOUT WHAT FOODS OR CANDIES YOU HATE!!!! NO ONE GIVES A S***!!! AND NOW THAT I'M ON MY SOAP BOX, WE DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR POLITICAL VIEWS EITHER!!!
Oh, that felt good.
STOP IT, AMERICA!!! If you don't like candy corn, don't eat it. If someone forcing you to eat it, well, the problem is with them, not the rest of us. So STFU about your candy corn feelings.
And pass me the bowl, because candy corn mixed with dry roasted peanuts is the best fall snack ever. But you never knew that, because I kept it to myself all these years because I didn't want to set off an anti-candy corn rant.
YES, I LOVE CANDY CORN AND I'M PROUD OF IT!!!!!
Now get off my lawn.