Forgive Your Enemies
Toward the end of Sunday's homily, the priest asked, "How many of you have forgiven your enemies?"
Almost everyone held up their hands.
The priest then repeated his question. Everyone responded this time, except one man, an avid golfer named Walter Barnes, who attended church only when the weather was bad.
The Thankful Genie
An Irishman is walking along the shore and he discovers a lamp. He rubs it and a Genie appears. The Genie says, “You have saved me and released me from 300 years of captivity. I will grant you three wishes.”
The Irishman thinks for a minute and says, “You know, I’m a bit thirsty and I could go for a pint.”