Widow and Widower
A widow and widower, both in their 70’s, missed the companionship that their former married lives offered. They decided to get married, and met over lunch to discuss the issues they would face living together.
The Wrong One
The train was quite crowded and a U. S. Marine walked the entire length looking for a seat. There seemed to be one next to a well-dressed French woman, but when he got there, he saw it was taken by the woman's poodle. The war-weary Marine asked, "Ma'am, may I have that seat...
It was entertainment night at the Senior Centre. Claude, the hypnotist exclaimed “I’m here to put you into a trance. I intend to hypnotize each and every member of the audience. The excitement was almost electric as Claude withdrew a beautiful, antique pocket watch from his coat.
“I want you each to keep your eye on this antique watch. It’s a very special watch. It’s been in my
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The Church Bells
Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95 year-old grandmother and comfort her. When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, "He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday
Pregnant at 71
A woman went to the doctor's office where she was seen by one of the younger doctors. After about four minutes in the examination room, she burst out screaming as she ran down the hall.An older doctor stopped her and asked what the problem was, and she told him her story.
After listening, he had her sit down and relax in another room.The older doctor marched down the hallway b
Dad at the mall
I took my dad to the mall the other day to buy some new shoes. We decided to grab a bite at the food court.
I noticed he was watching a teenager sitting next to him. The teenager had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, orange, and blue. My...
Here is another Bob and Tom Show Joke of the day:
Hold That Lantern
In the back woods, a redneck's wife went into labor in the middle of the night, and the doctor was called out to assist in the delivery.
Since there was no electricity, the doctor handed the father-to-be a lantern and said, "Here you hold this high so I can see what I am doing."
Soon, a baby boy was brought into the
If you are a golfer you might relate to this one:
The Doctor's Office
When my doctor asked me about what I did yesterday, I described my day:
"Well, yesterday afternoon I waded across the edge of a lake, escaped from a mountain lion in the heavy brush, marched up and down a mountain, stood in a patch of poison ivy, crawled out of quicksand and jumped away from an aggressive rattlesnake.&
A young man married a beautiful woman who had previously divorced 10 husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband to "Please be gentle; I'm still a virgin".
"What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married ten times.?"
A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.
After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I c
The shopkeeper was dismayed when a brand new business much like his own opened up next door and erected a huge sign which read BEST DEALS.
He was horrified when another competitor opened up on his right, and announced its arrival with an even larger sign, reading LOWEST PRICES.