Jokes

Moral of this joke: Drink Responsibly when in the Theatre!
 
The Drunkin' Cowboy


A drunken cowboy lay sprawled across three entire seats in the posh Amarillo Theater. When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the cowboy, 'Sorry, sir, but you're only allowed one seat…

This one is very clever...and funny!
Two Sisters


Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their ow…

Chicken and the Egg


A chicken goes to Las Vegas for a convention. After checking in, he goes down and plays some blackjack. He spots an egg across the room, their eyes meet and BOOM, their blood begins to boil.
They meet halfway across the floor and without a word, head upstairs to the chicken&Clos…

Here's another joke from the Bob and Tom Show.  You think you have a funnier joke?  Send it to us.
A Farmer's 3 Daughters
A farmer has 3 daughters and they were old enough to start dating. The farmer thought it was a good idea to answer the door with a shotgun to scare the suitor…

The New Book
 


A man goes into a new bookstore and asks the young lady assistant a question.
"Do you have the new book out for men with tiny manhoods? I tried to look it up but I can't remember the title."
She replies, "I'm not sure if it's in yet."…

The Dead Mule


Dad & Dave saw an ad in the Daily Newspaper and bought a mule for $100. The farmer agreed to deliver the mule the next day. The next morning the farmer drove up and said, "Sorry, fellows, I have some bad news, the mule died last night.."
Dad & Dave replied, "Wel…

This joke covers just about every nationality.  You gotta love it!
A Bar Story


A South African, an Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Latvian, a Turk, an Aussie, a Kiwi, a Yank, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Mexican, a Spaniard, a Greek, a Russian, an Estonian, a German, an Italian, a Pole, a Lith…

The New Doctor's Office


Best friends graduated from medical school at the same time and decided that, in spite of two different specialties, they would open a practice together to share office space and personnel.
Dr. Smith was the psychiatrist and Dr. Jones was the proctologist. They put up a sign…

The Chem Test
 


Introductory Chemistry at Duke has been taught for about a zillion years by Professor Bonk (really), and his course is semi-affectionately known as "Bonkistry." He has been around forever, so I wouldn't put it past him to come up with something like this.…

Funeral Costs


Billy died.... His will provided $30,000 for this elaborate funeral.
As the last guests departed the affair, his wife, Joyce, turned to her oldest and dearest friend, Jonelle.
"Well, I'm sure Billy would be pleased," she said...

Another "Blonde Joke"??  OK here we go...
The Angry Blonde
 
 
A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful re…

This one's for the girls!
 
Crossing the River


Three men were hiking through a forest when they came upon a large raging, violent river. Needing to get to the other side, the first man prayed, “God, please give me the strength to cross the river.”
Poof! God gave h…