Naked Man Steals Multiple Beers in Ice Cold Cooler Theft
This thirsty fella went from the cooler to, well, the cooler.
A totally naked man walked into a shop in Suwalki, Poland and took three bottles of beer from the store's cooler before walking out, reports Britain's Daily Mail.
He then hit another store to help himself to a pack of cigarettes before going to a bar to eat. He was later arrested while waiting outside the watering hole for his food because Poland is on Earth and it's hard to find a place here where you can just go store to store stealing things in the nude.
The man, 33, was drunk and slept it off in jail. When he woke up, "Police say he burst out crying and returned to the shop to pay for the beer he had taken."
The man told authorities he didn't know why he swiped the beer nor did he know why he wasn't dressed. Well, the stealing part is easy to figure out. If you're naked, you've got no place to put your money. As for why he was in the buff, well, that's a mystery we may never solve.