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This Fake ‘Ocean Life Found In The Great Lakes’ Story Is So Out There, It’s Kind Of Amusing

From photoshopping whales surfacing off the coast of the Sleeping Bear Dunes, to sharks being caught in Chicago, I’ve reached the end of my tolerance for the BS stories about the aquatic life found in Lake Michigan. Who believes this stuff?

But the latest one is actually so far out there, and written with just enough snark to be at least kind of funny.

The internet was a wonderful thing at first, boat loads of information at our fingertips! Imagine the possibilities!

And then came the people who decided to make up stuff up and post it, just to get a reaction.

Now I don’t believe anything I see online anymore.

Especially this giant, stinking turd of BS found floating on the site.

In it, Michigan DNR officials were called out to a place called ‘Good Harbor Bay’ on Lake Michigan where a giant squid has washed up. Officials surmise that the giant squid escaped from Sea World and swam around to West Michigan, even though squids normally would be scared off by the tightness of squeezing through the narrow Detroit River. (Which in and of itself is pretty funny).

“They are intimidated by closed-in spaces. They need a lot of room. You have to remember that this is a very big animal” a woman named Dr. Debra Polowotski is quoted as saying. “Hopefully the walleye can keep the tiny-giant squid population under control, else there is some cause for concern”, said Dr. Polowotski. “Boaters and swimmers really need to exercise some caution”.

And then it gets weirder. Here’s the part that a true Michigander can appreciate as the joke is revealed:

The animal was discovered by Bob Ritchie and his sister Jill, both of Romeo. “We were just, you know, taking an evening walk along the beach, heading out to the sandbar when we stumbled across it”, said Bob. “We were singing, drinking whiskey out of the bottle, not thinking about tomorrow. But something like this really does make you stop and think”, he said.

I imagine we’ll see more of these ‘All Summer Long’. Ba-da-bing-ba-da-boom.

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