A widow and widower, both in their 70’s, missed the companionship that their former married lives offered. They decided to get married, and met over lunch to discuss the issues they would face living together.
The train was quite crowded and a U. S. Marine walked the entire length looking for a seat. There seemed to be one next to a well-dressed French woman, but when he got there, he saw it was taken by the woman's poodle...
When I was a kid we would get together with friends and race our little electric cars. But now the new fad is "Hamster Racing"
You may be surprised to learn that Hamsters will run between four to eight miles a day in the wild, which is why in captivity the little furballs will attack their exercise wheel with such boundless energy...
Donald Duck was appearing at Las Vegas for the Christmas season. One night after the show, he spends some time in the bar and meets a really hot lady duck. They get on well together, so he invites her to his show the following night.
After the show he suggests they go back to his hotel suite. On his way past the hotel reception, he asks the clerk discreetly if he could get him a contraceptive - just in case, you understand.
It was entertainment night at the Senior Centre. Claude, the hypnotist exclaimed “I’m here to put you into a trance. I intend to hypnotize each and every member of the audience. The excitement was almost electric as Claude withdrew a beautiful, antique pocket watch from his coat.
“I want you each to keep your eye on this antique watch. It’s a very special watch. It’s been in my family for six generations.” He began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly chanting “Watch the watch, watch the watch, watch the watch…..”;
The crowd became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth, light gleaming off its polished surface.
Hundreds of eyes followed the swaying watch until, suddenly, it slipped from the hypnotist’s fingers and fell to the floor, breaking into pieces.
Dave Huyette and his friend Jeremy Reiland were ready and waiting in the the outfield bleacher seats at the World Series game 6, just in case someone hit a game winning home run. It happened in the the eleventh inning when David Freese came up and hit the walk off home run to give the Cardinals the win in game six.
Dave Huyett and Jeremy Reiland jumped over the fence to the grassy area and jumped on the ball expecting to be mobbed by several fans looking for the ball.
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