Thanks to the lovely and talented Wendy Reed for finding this next incarnation of the "Best of Craigslist". Why she was looking for a 96 Dodge Van I don't know, but she is entitled to her own reasons. The van for sale in question, a 96 Dodge Ram short van, is a real babe magnet. Really. And you can get it for a steal. Or a Macbook.

The ad is here "van that is awesome - $850 (holland)"

"You hear a whisper in the dark telling you its time to acquire the vehicle of your dreams. That voice is Fate and its calling your name....

I have for sale for one lucky person and one alone, the awesomest van in the whole universe. it is a 1996 Dodge ram van. Its a full size short van, v6 3/4 ton. This chariot of the gods runs like a champ. This van will get you where you need to go and then some. It doesn't stop. it is fully equipped with such features as a tilt steering wheel and cassette player.

I wouldn't lie to you and i tell you... this van will get you laid. You know how i know this? The back seat folds down into a bed. That's right this sexy bedroom on wheels will take you to a sunset beach...and then all the way. Try this on for size, "Honey, you wanna go out for a date night?" Wife "heck yes i do" little does she know that you will have her in the bedroom before you leave the driveway. Cheap datenight and you get laid. Win fricken win.
you're son may come up to you and ask, "Daddy where do babies come from"? you will take the little fella by the hand and stroll out to the garage. "thats where son" you say as you point at the van...

If you are a stupid person please don't call, i don't want this love machine going to someone that will waste her magic abilities. Plus i am not fond of stupid persons, unless its the guys from dumb and dumber, they are alright.

i will get a picture of it tomorrow, right now is dark, so if you wanna see what it looks like in the dark close your eyes and imagine a beautiful van. please call or text at 616 610 1398. If you buy this van the heavens will open and the angles will play for you every time you turn the key. A-team, Scooby, my van makes yours look like a turd on the curb in comparison. will trade for nice macbook"

Obviously the van isn't getting this guy laid anymore, or he probably wouldn't be selling it. Or trading it for a Macbook. This ad is full of so many good one liners I can't retype them all...I have highlighted them. Stay Classy Craigslist!